It's On

Have you ever heard the words someone said but have no idea what they're asking? Better yet, you know what they are asking but believe the answer to be blatantly obvious? And if you're answer is no, then me neither, definitely. However, if this were the case it would go something like this...

The Dentist: Do you grind your teeth at night?
Me: Um...I don't know cause I'm sleeping.

The Man at the Carwash (very loudly): Lower your *%&#($% antenna?
Me: Seriously?

*Side note-My car is older than me. With the exception of Helen Keller, there is not a person on the planet who would look at my car and assume it has an electronic control to lower my antenna.

Then again, it may be a genetic thing...

A woman at Enrichment: What did you stuff the blocks with?
My sister: Stuffing?

Just a buzz

So, quick updates because if I don't do them now I will forget them forever and that would be bad and then the world would cease to spin on its axis and Martians would use it as third base in their kickball game and then we would all get motion sickness and (BREATH)...yeah.... So, I certified as a frickin' lifeguard. It was way too much fun, I needed a summer reminder of how much I love the water. The class was also taught by a man who is really a long lost identical twin to my cousin Johnny, which was intensely creepifying. I went to Los Angeles to look at hot men in kilts all day long and loved every minute of it, except for the sunburn till ya blister and ignored at Dairy Queen part. Oh, and the part where the people who's couch we were sleeping on had a Rottweiler. Upon hearing any sign of the aforementioned beast, I would curl into the fetal position to protect my face from the imminent maiming. Needless to say, long night. I also drove in LA traffic but am conviced that I was the scariest thing on the road with my sister playing navigator and alerting me to exits as we passed them. I went to Newport Beach, squidged my toes in the sand, and found the hospital I want to intern at when I graduate. It's two blocks from the beach. Heck yeah!!!

Hmmm...what else? What else? Well, I'm still working at the appraisal office and got onto a resort at Lake Las Vegas for a full-time lifeguard position. I have secret plans to implement, which I can't tell you about cause they're, well, secret. DUH! Anyway, I think that covers my life in a nutshell. I'm working on more clever comebacks to questions I won't likely ever be asked and, if I am, probably won't remember in the moment, but it keeps me busy.

I feel as though if I were to say any more, I would be wasting more time of those poor saps who read this blog for some reason unbeknownst to the cosmos and the punishment for that is severe papercuts in a shower of lemon juice. I submit no. Therefore, the end.